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Luckily, the lad is only three years old and doesn't understand what he's saying. It's like when a young child tells his parents that he hates them, only worse.

Keep in mind that if you should be tempted to succumb to your son's wishes, the word on the street is that owning and operating a unicycle will most likely jeopardize your chances of ever winning the highly coveted Bronstein Award.


What is it with people and unicycles?

When I was at law school, I would see this one guy on campus every day, riding his unicycle to classes as if it were a mode of transportation, rather than a useless novelty item or a device used to torture bears.

Every time I saw him, I would think "I bet in his last year of high school, that guy thought he needed a cool skill to pick up girls, and he couldn't do coin tricks or play guitar, so he figured unicycle riding was 'quirky' and 'cute' enough to give him an edge. Now the poor bastard is just so invested in his gimmick that he can't give it up. It's too bad his friends don't have the heart to tell him that he looks like an idiot."

But, with your virility no longer in question, perhaps now is the perfect time to take up the unicycle! Adam will get invited to every birthday party on the block, as long as he brings his unicyclin' dad.


Err, as will Katie. Crap. I really didn't mean to leave her out, I was just trying to contextualize the comment... and... crap. I'm just digging in deeper here.

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